Week Two

Today, Murphy ate a James Patterson book.  That’s right…you heard it….he ate a book!

I had a purchased a book for my Mother to read post-surgery.  It was one of James Patterson’s new books.  I came home and discovered the crime scene in my bedroom.  The book was shredded and bits of it were all over the floor.  I asked Murphy who had done this.  He looked at me and smiled, wagging his tail, without any remorse whatsoever.  In my line of work, that is the hallmark characteristic of a sociopath, no remorse.  Did I adopt a sociopath with four legs and fur?  One of my favorite TV programs is Criminal Minds.  They always refer to the perpetrator as the “unsub”, the unknown subject of interest.  So my hairy Unsub started to get very busy this week.


The very next day, I took the Unsub downstairs for his first pee pee of the a.m.  I was still half asleep as he went bounding downstairs and disappeared around the corner.  Since I was still in my pajamas and robe, I was hoping he hadn’t run down the street, AGAIN.  When I heard my neighbor shout…..”Muprhy, NO”, I ran downstairs just in time to see him in my neighbor’s golfcart!  I was informed that he had just eaten my neighbor’s cinnamon roll in one bite!  So much for initial first impressions.  I apologized profusely to my neighbor and fortunately, he has a great sense of humor about these things and laughed it off, although I am sure he didn’t play quite as well without his breakfast. 

Then, these are just a few more of the things the Unsub did that week….

Grabbed a half eaten tomato from a racoon and ran off with it…

Pee’d in the house again…

Threw up on my comforter…

Pooped in the street…

Ran away again…

Slobbered all over Mom’s laptop…

Slimed Mom’s new black pants…

Tried to eat a game piece from a board game…

Calgon, take my away!!!!!!!   I am living with Marley!



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